When the Vultures Circle: The Predators Who Prey on the Newly Separated

Breakups hurt. Divorce changes you. And when you’re still raw, still trying to find your footing, the last thing anyone needs is to be targeted by people pretending to care—but really just circling, waiting for their chance to swoop in.

Since separating from my wife and undergoing a very amicable divorce, I’ve been shocked by the number of people hovering around her, looking for their moment.

Let’s be clear: it’s not just disrespectful—it’s predatory.

When People Smell Blood

Some people thrive on weakness. They might not admit it, even to themselves, but they have a radar for vulnerability. When someone is newly single—still adjusting, still processing, maybe still hurting—it’s not affection they’re offering. It’s a chance to manipulate.

Because that’s what it is: manipulation.

And no, this isn’t about being possessive or jealous. This is about calling out behaviour that crosses a line. A line that shouldn’t need to be explained to adults.

The Real Damage They Cause

Vulnerable adults coming out of relationships often doubt themselves. They might feel unwanted, unworthy, unsure. When someone swoops in with kind words, compliments, or interest, it can feel good. Comforting even.

But that comfort often comes at a cost. Because these vultures aren’t stepping in to support or uplift. They’re stepping in to take advantage—emotionally, sexually, or to boost their own ego. And when the person realises they weren’t truly cared for, it adds another layer of pain to an already heavy process.

It’s Not About Love – It’s About Power

Let’s be honest. If you really cared about someone, you’d give them space to heal. You’d respect their boundaries, respect their past, and let them come to you if and when they were ready.

But vultures don’t do that.

They push. They flatter. They test the waters.

Why? Because they want to feel powerful. They want to be the first to move in. It’s about getting something—not giving anything. And that says more about them than it ever will about the person they’re targeting.

There’s a Word for This: Grooming

It’s uncomfortable, but let’s not dance around it. When someone deliberately targets a recently separated person who is still emotionally unsteady, still grieving, still in a fog—it’s a form of grooming.

The intentions may not look abusive on the surface, but the foundation is the same:

That’s not romantic. That’s not flattering. That’s not okay.

What Respect Really Looks Like

Respect looks like checking in without pushing.

It looks like offering support without expectation.

It looks like holding space without needing to fill it with your own desires.

If your feelings are genuine, you’ll wait. You’ll stand back. You’ll put their needs above your wants. Because that’s what adults do when they care—not what predators do when they see an opportunity.

A Message to the Vultures

If you’re reading this and seeing yourself in it—good. Maybe it’s time to ask why you’re more drawn to the wounded than the whole. Maybe you need to sit with your own discomfort instead of using someone else’s pain to distract from it.

Grow up. Do better.

Final Thoughts

Breakups are hard. Divorce is harder. And the last thing anyone needs while navigating the emotional wreckage is to be preyed on. If you’ve just come out of a relationship, protect your peace. Keep your guard up. Know the difference between someone who’s there for you and someone who’s there for themselves.

And if you’re one of those watching from the sidelines, ask yourself this:

Are you offering help—or hunting weakness?